should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
