well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
