i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
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You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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