Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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