Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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