Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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