My nipple is on Facebook.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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