Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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