She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
