I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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