I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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