yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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