There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
soo... how was my night?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
