driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
