I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
