Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
