i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
