I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
