Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
