I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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