You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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