Is it because I queefed?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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