I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
