elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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