i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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