I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
