doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
