Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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