I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
