I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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