Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
