haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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