you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
