Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
