He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize