But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
