Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
