I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Green mimosas i think yes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Randomize
