we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
