so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
