nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
