she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
