i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
