I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
