you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
