she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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