he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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