He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
