Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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