someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
