My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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