Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
