Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
