Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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