I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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