Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
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MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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