$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
pray to the hookup gods
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
