Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
