My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
